From Abu Jabir Abdullah Penabdul
The Islamic Wedding
I begin with the Name of Allaah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.“ Qur’aan 30:21
They are those who pray, “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” Qur’aan 25:74
The ideal Islamic wedding starts from praying for and choosing a pious spouse. This will ease your wedding in shaa Allaah.
Ma shaa Allaah! Islam recognizes the inherent need for humans to socialize and be entertained. As it is commonly said, Islam seeks to produce a balanced human. Hence, it creates avenues for him to socialize and to be entertained in a legitimate fashion.
It is vital for a Muslim to always operate within the limits of the Shariah when socializing and when pursuing legitimate entertainment. A Muslim’s life is all about Allaah.
“Say, “Surely my prayer, my worship, my life, and my death are all for Allah—Lord of all worlds” Q6:162
Wedding which is a threshold to marriage can make or break a marriage. If the love and the wedding was based on Allaah, the marriage has every chance of being successful with stability and pious offspring. Remember, Allaah do tests His servants with failed marriages.
Islam has made it permissible for the Muslims to celebrate their weddings. When Allaah blesses anyone, he shows gratitude by celebrating in a manner that reflects true gratitude. This type of celebration that does not entail sinful acts, attracts more blessings from Allaah.
And ˹remember˺ when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’” Qur’aan 14:7
This offers us a nexus between celebrating our weddings without being sinful and having a blessed marriage.
However, if there is ungratefulness for the blessings of marriage bestowed on us by Allaah and we choose to disobey Him instead by celebrating our weddings in a manner that is opposite of the Shariah, then we could just be in for it. May Allaah forgive us and protect our Iman.
There is the Islamic culture and there is Muslim culture. The Islamic culture sets the standards, the fundamentals, while the Muslim culture varies according to the custom and tradition of the Muslims dictated by tribe and geographical location. The later operates from the former.
Therefore, wedding ceremonies vary from one culture to another but certain things remain constant.
The reason for the acceptability of these cultural differences is the known legal maxim in the Shariah:
Custom is a basis for judgement.
These customs and traditions are allowed as long as they do not contravene the fundamentals of the Deen.
Hence, different wedding celebrations within different Muslim communities. This is because Shariah is a manifestation of the Love, Compassion and Mercy of Allaah.
Whatever your custom or tradition is, when celebrating your wedding remember the following...
The Islamic wedding celebration revolves around two major things:
Let there be modesty.
Let there be no extravagance.
Keep it simple. Jabir bin Abdullah (RA) got married in Madina at a time when the total land area of Madina was not any larger than the current size of the Prophet’s mosque (remembering my lessons on Islamic Architecture) and the Prophet was not aware. So do not stress people.
Respect the custom of your people especially when it comes to dressing as long as it does not contradict the Shariah. Avoid dressing for fame and vanity.
Hold a wedding celebration. Let women have their EXCLUSIVE event with modest dressing and no display of such to non-mahrem men either physically or on social media in the form of pictures and videos. They can sing without accompanying it with music. The use of Daff is allowed.
For the bride, avoid going to a male hairdresser or make up artist. This is not permissible. Do not pluck your eyebrow or wear hair extensions this comes under general prohibition of doing so in the hadith of ibn Mas’ud (RA). Do not imitate the kuffar in their dress.
May Allaah protect us all and forgive our shortcomings.
Eat well, invite your friends to join you in the wedding celebration but do not be sinful and do not be wasteful.
Let men have their EXCLUSIVE wedding banquet (Walimah). It is not a condition that during walimah a scholar has to be invited to preach. Eat, Drink and pray for the couple. That's all.
The groom should not out of wedding euphoria, do haram things such as shaving his beard (which he is being deceived into believing that it makes him look more handsome). You cannot look handsome by disobeying the command of the Prophet (SAW). Keep that beard and you look gorgeous.
Avoid free mixing between groomsmen and bridesmaid. Let there be exclusive gender sensitive events. Khalas!
The groom should not allow his cloth to go below his ankle. Keep it Sunnatic. Raised trousers with a touch of electrifying sunnatic beard.
That will definitely make the groom of the year out of him. But pre-wedding pictures, wedding dinners where men and women mix freely....haram
The Islamic wedding celebration does not include men and women dancing together and hugging and shaking hands and taking pictures, exchange of rings.
Can we now start having Islamic wedding planners that will be smart enough to study the customs and traditions of the bride and groom and merge them with the non-standards of the Shariah and then give them a befitting wedding event. An opportunity to make money. Start now..
In conclusion, I pray that Allaah the Exalted, forgive all of us for wedding celebrations that were against the Shariah and May Allaah guide the yet to be couples to do it the right way and bless all of us with pious spouses and offsprings.
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